Who can resist the thought of our Simon in uniform? Certainly not us! We know a good drill sergeant when we see one, so we're pleased to bring you RAF Simon! There's a war on, girls, and we must all do our part. But never fear - he's a lover, not a fighter!

Accessories include:

• Kools
• Camouflaged condoms
• Satellite phone
• Global Positioning System (aka The Karma Sutra)
• Tent and Sleeping Bag for two
• Canteen filled with Disaronno Amaretto

Also sold separately:

• Dream Tank (just big enough for two)
• Dream Jet (for you Mile High Clubbers)

Figure does not include weaponry as RAF Simon is quite well equipped all on his own.

LA Simon

Peruse Rodeo Drive with LA Simon! He'll treat you to decadent shopping sprees and 8 dollar lattes; all you have to do is ask!

Accessories include:

• Cell Phone
• Kools
• Disaronno Amaretto
• One box Trojan Condoms
• Full complement of vitamins (asst. may vary) and a vial of botox
• Figure comes dressed in a grey t-shirt and jeans. White and Black T-shirts also included.

The following accessories are sold separately. Please contact us in advance to check availability.

• Beverly Hills Dream House, complete with complimentary Orbelina Doll.
• Dream Pool (heated to just the right temperature). Comes with surrounding Orange Trees (for making your own marmalade).
• Silver Mercedes SL500, completely kitted out. A MUST SEE!!

Order NOW and receive FREE your very own print of Simon's most hated painting, "Flowers, Wrapped In Bacon"

Beach Simon

Limited Edition Model - Regrow Simon's Chest Hair On Command!
While Supplies Last

Accessories Include:

• Cell Phone


• Kools


• Sunscreen


• Box of Trojan Condoms


• Inflatable bimbo with REAL saline breast implants. Doubles as life raft in case of emergency!


• Figure is dressed in blue swim trunks.

Jet Ski with Ryan Seacrest Doll sold separately!

Mechanic Simon

OH NO!! Your car has broken down again? Never fear, Mechanic Simon is here! Clad in his delectable gray t-shirt and jeans, he'll pick you up in his spacious (hint, hint) tow truck, then whisk you back to the garage where you can watch as he bends over to see what's wrong...

Accessories Include:

• Kools
• One Box Trojan Condoms
• Cell Phone
• Tow Truck (with heated leather seats - this IS still Simon, after all)

Tools NOT included because, let's face it, we're not THAT interested in getting the car fixed. Are we?

American Idol Simon comes complete with a pen with pre-chewed cap, one pack of BIG RED chewing gum, and one plastic Coca-Cola cup. Figure is dressed in black t-shirt and jeans, but included (at no extra charge) is an Armani suit and white dress shirt for that special evening event.

And, as a special bonus...HE TALKS! Just pull the string to hear him say your favorite lines in true Simon fashion! They're all here!

Including:

• "AWFUL"
• "DREADFUL"
• "PATHETIC"
• "BACK ON YOUR KNEES, SEACREST!"

ALSO SOLD SEPARATELY: