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Cuddle Me Simon

You're a strong, independant woman. Yes, we know - so are we. But, sometimes at the end of a hectic, awful day, what we need most is the comfort only a man can provide. To that end, we introduce Cuddle Me Simon!

Cuddle Me Simon is life-sized and warms to 98.6 degrees when you press the button. Switch the toggle?? HE BREATHES! The staff has tested this model thoroughly and recommends the following activities with your Cuddle Me Simon.

  • Sit in his lap, snuggle into his chest and lay your head against his shoulder. Let the soft breathing action lull you into dreamland!
  • Lay down with your head in his lap, position his arm over your shoulder and rest your hand on his knee!

  • Lay HIS head in your lap and run your fingers through his hair!

Cuddle Me Simon is dressed in a black cashemere sweater and wear-softened jeans, perfect for your sensitive skin. He will NEVER say you're too heavy or his legs are falling asleep, he won't make you get up so he can go to the bathroom and he will NEVER, EVER say, "Can't I just watch the game?"

Cuddle Me Simon is all yours! BUT HURRY - SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED!

Tickle Me Simon

Who DOESN'T think Simon's laugh is just the most wonderful sound in the world? No one we know, which is why we're pleased to offer you Tickle Me Simon!

Tell him a joke and he laughs! Tickle him and his face brightens with that irresistable little-boy smile and he GIGGLES! Guaranteed to make you giggle too, even on your very worst day!

Tickle Me Simon comes dressed in jeans and includes an assortment of form-fitting t-shirts in various colors. Also included is a cell phone (not pictured) so you can reach him anytime, anywhere for a breath-stealing pick-me-up!

Headmaster Cowell

Did you ever have a crush on a teacher? Oh, we knew you did! Now you can combine your innermost fantasy with your Simon lust!

Headmaster Cowell, dressed in period costume, grips a wooden ruler and comes SPRING LOADED to spank you!

Also Sold Separately:

Student Juliet (with pleated skirt, knee socks and ponytail)

HFS Simon

The ULTIMATE in action!

Another model designed specifically for our staff, and now available to the public! This Simon Doll is LIFE SIZE and, as always, anatomically correct! WOW!!

Accessories Include:

  • Dream Bed (guaranteed to never let you down)
  • Handcuffs
  • Camcorder
  • Box of Trojan Condoms
  • We Can't Tell You What He's SPRING LOADED for, but we promise you'll LOVE IT!!

Please specify WITH or WITHOUT chest hair when ordering!

Safari Simon

It's adventure time in the outback!

Safari Simon, clad in requisite black t-shirt and jeans, has a pissed off look and comes with the following accessories and features:

  • Cell Phone (out of range, unfortunately)
  • Empty Carton Of Kools (sorry, no convenience stores in the bush)
  • Binoculars
  • Terri Seymour Doll (not pictured)
  • One VERY angry, hungry lion!


Workout Simon

Let's Get Physical!

Workout Simon comes clad in black running shorts. Yes, the little short ones!

Other Accessories Include:

  • Kools (yeah, yeah...we want him to quit too)
  • Exercise Mat for Pushups
  • Treadmill
  • Full Weight Set
  • Full Length Mirror
  • Press The Button and Watch His Biceps FLEX!