Extra Feb 13

You premiered it on Extra,
We sent up a cheer:
"We love you Simon!"
We hoped you could hear!

Oprah Feb 24

The next time on Oprah
At least we could say,
"He's repeating outfits;
We know he's not gay."

Extra Feb 27

The third time we saw it
We started to worry.
"Oh, maybe he woke late
And dressed in a hurry."

Extra March 6

But no, once in March
It appeared you were lost.
We thought you had money!
What's a new sweater cost?

Jay Leno March 10

Even on Leno
The sweater came out.
Your fans let out sighs and
Gave into their doubt.

Extra March 14

Though cute you may be
You have no fashion sense.
We hoped to this point
It was all mere pretense

Regis May 16

So the season went on
And now we're in May,
But you wore the sweater
THREE TIMES IN ONE DAY!

ET May 16

On Regis, ET and
The Early Show, too;
You do this to your fans?
What else would you do?

The Early Show May 16

But still that sweet face
Makes our hearts pitter-pat.
Just please burn the sweater.
Your fans deserve that.